This is 40
Yep, friends, this is 40! I just celebrated my birthday in my favorite city, New York. We had a fabulous time full of theater, food, friends and lots of fun. I knew I wanted to do a “what I have learned in my 40 years post” so on the plane ride home I really starting reflecting back over the years. Comparing how I was to how I am now, and even where I want to be in my next ten years. The difference is night and day. My thirties were definitely a decade of growth, finding myself and learning the importance of so many things. So what wisdom and observations would I give to my younger self? Below are 20 things I learned in my 40 years.
- Jesus makes me a better person.
- Laugh lines are worth it
- It’s ok to say no. Stop overcommitting yourself. Real friends will understand.
- Friendships change. Some even have an expiration date and dissolve. This is OK.
- The night before is rarely worth the next day. Even though, we routinely still think we are still 20 and can handle it.
- For goodness sake, don’t sweat the small stuff.
- Grudges are not worth holding, forgive people. Everyone falls short of being perfect, including you.
- Don’t live your life by anyone else’s expectations. Be true to you. This will always get you further in life and this is where you experience true happiness.
- Live in the moment. Be spontaneous, and teach your children this!! After all, there may not be another chance to experience the greatness that life really has to offer. Do more things that are memorable for you and your family!
- Don’t judge others, you never know what they are going through. A lot of times, there is way more going on behind closed doors than you would ever imagine. Just be kind and love people!!
- Elephants don’t belong in a room. If something makes you uncomfortable, address it. Just do it with respect and honor.
- Doing the right thing just feels better – ALL THE TIME.
- It’s ok to take a day to yourself. Being super-mom is not always a badge of honor. It plays a role in your mental and physical health. We all need time reset and reboot. Make yourself a priority.
- Build other women up instead of tearing them down. Jealousy roots bitterness and that is a cycle that is hard to break. It can keep you in a very unhappy place.
- Embrace every flaw, stretch mark & wrinkle. Confidence is a beautiful thing!
- A good eye cream and moisturizer will be your best friend and keep your face youthful. Start it as early!! AND ALWAYS WEAR SUNSCREEN.
- Look in the mirror – It is not always the fault of someone else. (toe stomper)
- Listen first, speak last. Hearing others is a gift and makes you a better friend. A better person in general.
- A smile can genuinely make a difference. Not only for others but for yourself as well.
- Healthy living isn’t just a fad. It really is important to exercise and take care of your body. Especially at this age. Eating healthy is all about balance. Don’t look at it as trying to transform your body into our old 20-year-old self. Learn to be comfortable in your own skin. Healthy isn’t always skin and bones, people. Look at it from a health standpoint. Once you set your mind to you are doing this for your children and family, it gets easier and puts things into perspective. I want to be around long enough to see my kids grow, get married and experience grandchildren.
Oh and here is just a little extra one for ya…
If you happen to get knocked up again at 39, tears are ok. Cursing your husband is ok. As a matter of fact, just throw 1-20 out the window – haha – kinda kidding, kinda not – just depends on the day.
I hope this tiny bit of wisdom can help at least one person. I spent the majority of my 20’s doing all the opposite things I just wrote about. Thankfully, slowly, in my 30’s I started implementing each one of these little nuggets. I have never been happier. Am I perfect? No way, far from it. I still have a lot of self-growth to master and looking forward to what my 40’s will unveil to me. Navigating life isn’t always easy. One thing is for sure, if you at least try to be the best version of you, it’s hard to fail. It’s hard to be unhappy. I’ll leave you with this. Just be kind, learn to look in the mirror more and always try to be the bigger person.